“While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Stephen Covey

Unless you are a Rugby League player.

Josh Dugan has always had an X factor. He can manufacture something from nothing, an ability only few players have. He has previously represented NSW and apart from a few positional errors he performed quite well.  But I want to make it clear that I think Josh Dugan should not be considered for any games in the remainder of the 2013 State of Origin Series.

For a number of years Josh Dugan broke club rules at the Canberra Raiders. Like a petulant child he would breach club policies regarding drinking, late training infractions and curfews. The raiders always knew he was a talent but unfortunately so did Dugan. He was fined several times, stood down from games and called before the board throughout his career at the raiders. Constantly testing the resolve of the club and always knowing that there would be little to no repercussions for his actions.

But after a very public display of defiance  and his absence from training the Raiders were at breaking point. Instead of approaching management and dealing with his issues, he sat on his roof, picked up a breezer and took to instagram. A display of behaviour befitting a 16 year old girl who wanted to get back at her parents.  After a complete ‘no show’ at a disciplinary hearing the Raiders had no option but to terminate Dugan’s contract. To prove that Josh Dugan hadn’t learned a thing from his sacking he took to twitter weeks  after he was fired. Once again behaving like a child and insulting people in a public forum. The result of this was that the Broncos withdrew their interest but it simply was opened the door for St. George.

In short, the Raiders sacked Dugan in March 2013 after a number of disciplinary infractions, he had a rest for 5 weeks, gets resigned by the Dragons for the remainder of the season and is now is being considered to play origin.

Wow Josh must be hurting! What price to pay! (insert sarcastic tone)

I might try this on Monday instead or turning up to work.

I will just send a picture to my boss of me sitting on my roof, getting blind and giving him the one finger salute. Then following this I won’t make an appearance offering any explanation or apology.

Going by what happened to Dugan. I will get fired. Have 5 weeks off. Then get rehired by another company and offered a promotion in the middle of the year.

Sounds brilliant! But somehow I don’t think it is very likely. The reason being, is that this kind of behavior is not tolerable.  It doesn’t matter what industry you are in, it is never acceptable.

Rugby League officials are always encouraging the players to be role models. Well how about they show some leadership and make players like Josh Dugan accountable for their actions. The Canberra Raiders refused to tolerate his poor behavior and drew a line in the sand.  Sending a clear message that no player is above the rules. The NSWRL and the NRL need to show the same fortitude and support club these actions. But instead they keep Dugan registered and continue making money off his name. It is a disgrace.

In his last 4 weeks Dugan has performed well at club level and there are a few people calling for his inclusion in the origin side to replace the injured Jarrod Hayne. With reporters like Phil Rothschild stating that because he hasn’t been a dickhead for 4 weeks and is playing good football then he has learned his lesson. Further to this the NSW coach Laurie Daley stated that he would have no problem including Josh Dugan in his roster.

Has the world gone mad?

His performances on the field have no reflection of his behavior off it. This is the problem. Dugan has the ability to continue carrying on like a dickhead and still play well.  The only thing  Josh Dugan has learned from this ordeal is that as long as you keep playing well , you can keep writing your own cheque. Just like when he slices through a poor defensive line he  has managed to do the same through the disciplinary minefield.

If we are genuine about setting examples for children then players need to suffer consequences for their actions. These aren’t working as a ‘labourer for a week’ or making a ‘twitter apology’. They have to mean something. Dave Smith should have made Josh Dugan ineligible to play the remainder of the year with any NRL club. This would publicly support and vindicate the Raiders decision to fire him, appease the fans and set an example to all players that actions have consequences.

But at the very least not being considered for Representative Football would be a good start. The word ‘Representative’ says it all. He doesn’t deserve to ‘represent’ my state and further to that ‘represent’ my country. Honour, Loyalty, Pride and Passion are words associated with the jersey. None of these can be used to describe Josh Dugan, for now at least. Everyone deserves redemption but you can’t absolve someone of their sins without making them work for it. If he finishes the season without any problems then he can resume his representative career in 2014. A small price to pay for the turmoil he has caused.

But who knows maybe Josh is onto something. Towards the end of the season he might slip out to the shed, grab a ladder, a case of breezers, his phone and climb his way into an Australian Jersey.  He might as well. It worked out pretty well the first time.

I am in the quoting mood and I found this one that I think sums up Mr Dugan.

‘Too great a preoccupation with motives (especially one’s own motive) is liable to lead to too little concern for consequences’ 

Katherine Whitehorn

Rant On,

Johnny

Nepotism: favouritism granted to relatives regardless of merit.

Following this year’s series the New South Wales selectors need to be sacked.  I have had enough of the politics involved in NSW origin selections and the absolute rubbish that is used to justify their decisions.

The simple fact is that NSW origin selectors practice what I like to call ‘selective loyalty’. Over the past few years there has been two main benefactors; Mitchell ‘the myth’ Pearce and Kurt ‘ the bench’ Gidley.  These individuals are a part of the  Rugby League Mafia, The boys club, The Rugby League family. Being constantly shielded and protected by former players and some sections of the media.

Pearce and Gidley,  have under performed at origin level for a number of series and have always managed to get re-selected. I don’t know who Mitchell Pearce is paying but he is the Teflon man. Last years series he was completely out of his depth. He provided little attacking options and his kicking game was so inept that I felt embarrassed for him. The only positive that anyone could muster  is that he is a solid defender. Brilliant! A defensive half back. The most attacking position on the field and the best thing we can up with is, that he is a great defender. Hmmm I must have missed his amazing defence last year when Jonathon Thurston stepped around him, leading to Queensland  running 80 metres to score a match winning try. This may be a crazy concept but I want my half back to be creative and have the stability of a good kicking game. Both of which Pearce does not possess.

Mitchel Pearce is a mechanical footballer. He doesn’t read what is in front of him. He simply executes the play he has decided to do prior to receiving the ball regardless of what the defense is doing. Everything he does is premeditated and in turn is extremely predictable.

He doesn’t have a football brain. Nothing is intuitive. It is all rote learned.

The Sydney Roosters finished the 2012 season in 13^th place (4^th last) . How is this possible with the NSW half back at the helm? South finished 3^rd  and were 1 win away from the grandfinal. Halfback Adam Reynolds was influential in making this happen.

After last years performance I thought it would have had to take an incredible  start to 2013 for Mitchell Pearce to retain his NSW origin spot. Apparently not.  I have watched every Roosters game this year and he hasn’t improved at all. His kicking game is woeful and passing game is premeditated.  The only thing that has changed is that the roosters have built a team around Pearce to accommodate for his lack of creativity.  Just like in Formula 1 it has become more about the performance of the car than the actual drivers ability. Currently Souths are leading the competition, with Reynolds polling Daly M points in 4 games as opposed to Mitchel Pearce having polled points in only  1 game.

Incredibly Pearce was assured of his spot in the NSW 2013 side very early in the season regardless of his form. With coach Laurie Daley quoting that NSW have to stay loyal to the past players.  Laurie is the kind of guy that would keep relying on a car that constantly breaks down  instead of buying a new one. “well this car isn’t very reliable and rarely does the job but I am used to it”. Pretty familiar rationale don’t you think?

But due to loyalty Pearce is selected. Ok a bit of loyalty I understand and I can even appreciate it, but I fail to see any consistency when it comes to this so-called, ’loyalty’.What happened to Todd Carney and Tim Grant’s loyalty? Is NSW loyalty finite? Does NSW only get allocated a certain amount of it?  Carney hasn’t set the world alight this year but I don’t believe his form has been any worse than Pearce’s, yet all of a sudden his selection is performance based. If we use’ Daley’s method of selection’ that applied to Mitchell Pearce then shouldn’t Carney also be selected. After all, it was the combination we used last year.

Further to this debacle, the biggest reason given for not selecting Adam Reynolds over Mitchell Pearce  is that he doesn’t have origin experience.  Well how much experience does James’ Maloney have???? Absolutely none! Then why was he selected over Carney? It is one massive contradiction. I find it hard to fathom. All I hear is that Adam Reynolds doesn’t have any origin experience. Have we all forgotten that Jamie Soward played 3 origins? If he can play I am sure Adam Reynolds can handle it.

What about Tim Grant? He had a solid series last year and was one of the only forwards that manned up against Queensland. He hasn’t been afforded the same loyalties as Mitchell Pearce. Simply pushed aside for another debutant. It seems the only person who cannot be pushed aside for a debutant is Mitchell Pearce.

Then Daley comes out and says that he selected Maloney because he has a ‘calming influence’ on Pearce out on the field. Well that will do me! Not only have they built the Roosters team around Pearce to accommodate for his lack of ability, now we are selecting players to baby him at origin level. If I was Cooper Cronk and Jonothan Thurston I would be laughing my head off. You never know, Thurtson might start pushing for his team-mate Robert Lui to get start next year just  to make him feel more comfortable on the field.

Is this a joke? Are we in under 7’s? Little Mitchell can’t play with kids he doesn’t know?

If we are being fair dinkum and picking team based combinations then surely John Sutton and Adam Reynolds are top of the list. I am not a huge fan of Sutton but using the ‘Laurie Daley method for Selections’, then isn’t this logical?

The whole thing reeks. There is no loyalty in origin selections. Only favouritism.

If I am Queensland player I would be extremely happy with the selection of Pearce. Billy Slater should be expecting to receive a lot of kicks on the full and if they watch just one Roosters game they can figure out how his whole game plan.

Now to Kurt Gidley. The man who is not good enough to play any position and that is why he plays them all. How does the saying go?

‘A jack of all trades and an expert in none’

Gidley is a grafter and I admire his attitude to the game. He is passionate, but he isn’t good enough and never has been. The only captain I have ever seen that has started from the bench. That says it all! Forwards can sacrifice skill with determination, unfortunately Gidley is not a forward. It doesn’t matter how much he wants it he is never going to have it.  But Andrew Johns and the other cronies have manufactured a place for Gidley in the NSW team. His inclusion in the last 3 origins has been a detriment to the side. His series last year was terrible and typified by missing vital conversion attempts

But once again Gidley was selected. In origin you are looking for impact off the bench.

Gidley has the impact of a sponge hammer.

I doubt Queensland would even care that Gidley was entering the game.

Why the hell would we select Gidley for this series? Why wouldn’t you look to blood some new players?

Put Adam Reynolds on the bench and give him some experience. He could cover positions 6,7,9 and he possesses a great general play and goal kicking game. This is how NSW should be recruiting for the future. Queensland did it with Cooper Cronk and ensured the succession  of another capable half back. In Gidley, all NSW has done is provide a band-aid player in case some one get hurts with no regard for next year.

If not Reynolds, what about Terry Campese? If we are talking loyalty, this guy is owed the world. For every game Pearce is selected Campese must shudder. He was given 1 game in 2009 that NSW lost 28-18. It  was actually 24-18 with 10 minutes to go before a Gidley handling error 2 minutes from halftime let Queensland in for a final try.

The irony.

But my point is, that against the best Queensland side to ever play origin, Terry Campese on debut, played in a side that were within 6 points of challenging for the game.  He didn’t have a stand out game and was relatively quiet but for a debut it was acceptable. But in a ridiculous turn of events he was dropped for the second game after it was stated that NSW were looking to blood players for the future. How does this happen? Especially when year after year Pearce and Gidley produce very little and keep getting selected. Terry  Campese can play 6,7,12 and 13.  He provides structure and direction in attack and his kicking game is brilliant

If I was a Queensland player and saw Campese or Reynolds warming up to take the field I would take notice. If I was a Queensland coach and saw Campese or Reynolds selected on the bench I would be concerned, not only for the present but for their impact in the future.

Loyalty: is a word NSW use to justify a poor selection

Form: is a word NSW use to justify a unjustified omission

Favouritism: is how NSW  implement disgraceful selections.

The fact Mitchell Pearce has played 9 origin games is a joke. The biggest joke is that he is been given another 3 chances  to play.

I watched the NSW halves  play against Cronk, Smith and Slater over the weekend. God help us.

Go the Blues

Rant on

As I was walking past one of the agricultural marquees my niece asked me;

‘Uncle Johnny what is fleece?’

Hmmmm I thought.

(I am about to be one of those annoying writers that puts dictionary definitions in to make a point but I thought this was quite apt)

fleece

n.

1.

a. The coat of wool of a sheep or similar animal.

b. The yield of wool shorn from a sheep at one time.

c. To defraud of money or property; swindle.

In one definition, the Easter Show has finally been revealed. Like a freshly shorn sheep it has been exposed to the world as  ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothing’.  Ok ,Ok enough of the analogies and euphemisms.

The Easter Show has always been a bit of a rip off but now it has become a complete joke.

I will start with the rides. They sell tickets in bundles and you use these tickets to go on rides. Now they market the most expensive tickets (75 tickets for $70) as the best value (of course it is).

You walk in and soon discover that anything worth going on is 8 tickets and the crappy stuff is 6 tickets. This means the kids can go on about 4 rides each for $70. Awesome! The kicker is you then have to accompany them on the ride if they don’t meet the height restriction. There goes another 8 tickets. In one ride we did 24 tickets. I stupidly thought that a parent or guardian would ride for free if they had to accompany a minor. No way, it wouldn’t be the Easter Show without the fist. Just like a good Easter egg hunt you have to search around the Show and see how many hidden charges you can find.

So within 20 minutes your allotment of tickets are gone, you have to rebuy and you find yourself $140 down. That’s just on rides!

All for the experience of jumping on a shitty looking ride that is manned by a bloke who has just had a shot of methadone to subdue the cravings. If I wanted this experience I would just pop the kids in the car and drive like a maniac through the streets of Campbelltown. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure the guy that was running the ‘crazy spinning coaster’ has a regular spot at the lights on the corner of Parramatta rd and Liverpool rd.

It all makes sense now.

Every time he cleaned my windshield he would lean in, check my seatbelt tension and tell me to keep my arms and hands inside the vehicle. I always found that strange until now.

Apart from this you have to deal with the spruikers trying to get you play their rigged games. It has reached an all new level. It’s like walking through Kings Cross where they are trying to lure you into strip clubs. The only difference is the strip club is probably cleaner.

At one stage we were walking through the show and this man stumbled up to us. Missing his front teeth and looking disheveled I took pity on him. Clearly homeless, I handed him the change I had in my pocket.

He looked at me and demanded another dollar.

I thought, wow this bloke is a bit pushy but he looks like he needs it more than me. I searched my pockets and found a dollar. I went to walk away, happy I had helped the less fortunate, only to be stopped by him once again. He handed me an oversized mallet and said ‘top hit wins a prize’. This guy actually worked on one of the games.

Embarrassed, I made a poor attempt, grabbed the kids and scurried away.

Walking through the games section was like being on the set of the Walking Dead. Expressionless looking people, missing teeth and looking for victims.

With the sun beating down and few trees in sight I longed for days of the Moore Park Easter Show. Homebush is so sterile.  It is soulless. You know you are here to be churned through and spat out the other side. In Moore Park there was a sense of history and nostalgia. In Homebush it’s baron and cold.

Hot and bothered we stopped for Lemonade.  $5 for a small cup.  As he filled the cup ¾ full of ice I asked for no ice in the second cup.

I was met with,

‘Oh sorry sir we must put ice in’.

I was sent reeling from that knocked out punch.

What? I said

‘We must put ice in the cup’, he said again.

“Listen mate I know your boss told you to fill the cup with ice so you don’t use as much lemonade but I am paying for a cup of lemonade not for a cup of ice.”

This went back and forth until he caved. Jesus, it was like trying get a release from my Vodafone contract, only harder. Shitty service, no coverage and not getting what I paid for. It was all too familiar.

I walked away and considered that a win and yet I still paid $10 for 1 ½ cups of small lemonade.

As the walking dead began to close in and the kids focus started to wane we headed for the biggest fraud the Easter Show is renowned for… the show bag section.

Actually the show bag section is so bad that a nickname spawned from it and has cemented itself in Aussie vernacular. Blokes that go by the name ‘showbags or showie’ usually are given this nickname because they are ‘full of shit’.

The showbag section has always been a bit pricey but for children it is like a poker machine den to a gambling addict. Bells, whistles, colours and games that excite the senses and lure them into a purchase. I hadn’t been to the show in over 10 years but I have noticed a massive decline in the quality of show bags. The ‘Snake’s Alive’ bag is half of what It used to be and double the price and the ‘The Greatest Show Bag In The World isn’t even the greatest show bag in its section. But it became apparent to me just how much the showbags have slipped when I saw the gag bag. One of my staples when I was a kid but when I Iooked at the gags and the quality I was shocked.   I noticed the supposed fake dog poo. It was the size of a 50 cent piece, had square edges and looked like a piece of Cadbury’s chocolate. If I saw that placed in front of me I would be more inclined to taste it than be shocked by it.

The fake dog poo of days gone by actually looked real and would always fool unsuspecting adults. It also had a foul odour to it but I am not sure whether this was intentional and or it was some toxic byproduct from the chemical in the plastic. Never the less it worked.

This was my final straw. You can’t even get a good piece of shit at the Easter Show anymore! We gathered our things and headed for the exit.  The final goodbye was the $20 dollars for parking. I put my credit card in the machine but it wouldn’t accept it, thoughts flooded into my head;

Maybe I hadn’t spent enough to be released from the show yet or was this a result of the great lemonade debate but just as I was losing all hope the gate swung open and I made my escape.

As I drove home happy to leave the show behind and $450 lighter in my pocket, my niece said from the back of the car,

‘That was the greatest day of my life so far’.

A bitter sweet moment as reluctant acceptance washed over me.

I guess I will be seeing you again Easter Show and we will see what depths you can sink to next year.

Happy Easter Everybody!

Here is a list of the top ten bags and the ridiculous prices

1. Sesame Street $25.00
2. Moshi Backpack $25.00
3. Cadbury – Big Bite $10.00
4. Dora The Explorer #1 $25.00
5. Angry Birds Blue $25.00
6. Skylanders Spyro’s Adventure $22.00
7. Disney Princess $25.00
8. Coca-Cola Back Pack $25.00
9. Bertie Beetle Bonanza $10.00
10. Triple M $20.00

Tickets were $70 (for two), champagne $9, a small cocktail $13, 2 vodkas $18 and a 2 boxes of fish & chips $32. I have become accustomed to the exorbitant prices that I have to pay in Sydney and I didn’t let it phase me.

As I was listening to the ‘Thénardiers’ singing ‘Master of the House’ ,watching them fleece everyone that walked into their Inn, I couldn’t help but glance at the city and then back to the movie. It suddenly hit me that the city of  Sydney is my Madame and Monsier Theandier. Every time we have an interaction I walk away with nothing in my pockets and wondering just how the hell that had happened.

I have learned that if you have the audacity to go anywhere in Sydney you should expect to pay for the privilege. As mentioned before, the movie was fantastic and I thoroughly enjoyed the outdoor cinema experience. The stroll back to the car was filled with chatter about who we thought performed the best and how Sacha Barren Cohen was surprisingly good as Monsieur Thénardiers. My pocket was significantly lighter which also made the journey back to the car a little easier. But typical of this city as soon as you let your guard down you are jolted back into reality with a firm slap to face, just like a car ride with Chris Brown.

SLAP!

As I walked by one of parked cars I noticed a parking ticket on one of the windows. I knew right away that I had forgotten to get a parking ticket. A combination of being excited for the movie and absent-mindedly assuming that parking after 6pm would be ticket free, I just jumped out of the car and set off for the cinema.

My partner who is from Canada said,

 ‘We might be lucky’.

‘No chance’, I replied.

‘You never know your luck in a big city’ she said.

Even though I appreciated her optimism, I know Sydney and her vampire like ways. She will lure you in under the illusion of beauty, send out her minions to do her work and then suck the blood out of you.

Now you would think the scum bags that run Sydney City would be encouraging people to go out on a Saturday night, spend money and pump some well needed finance back into the economy. But no! As you’re shelling out for over priced food and under whelming service they are getting ready to pick your back pocket. Sydney City Council know that the open air cinema is on and you can guarantee that they specifically target the movie’s start and finish times. So they send out their vermin and go about fining all the movie goers that were remiss in paying for a parking ticket. Then the akubra wearing, neon vested Hyenas scurry away to feast on another carcass.

Now I am not that one-eyed that I won’t admit fault. There should be a penalty for not getting a ticket.  But as my partner grabbed the fine from my window she looked down in complete astonishment.

‘WHAT!  $99!

If you have a look at the regulation code it is ‘SBW’. Must Karma for all the grief I have been giving Sonny Bill Williams.

I couldn’t believe it. Are you f-ing kidding me. I wasn’t in a ‘no stopping’, ‘no parking’ or on a ‘clearance way’. A speeding fine in NSW (for 10 and under) is $105 and speeding fine in Western Australia is $75. So, for what is a far less dangerous and minor offence I am paying the same, if not more for my crime. Not only is the high price offensive so is the actual figure. $99?? Am I supposed to thank god it wasn’t $100? The utter contempt! Just charge me $100 you tip rat, who do you think you are fooling?

In Vancouver the parking fine is a discounted $35 if you pay within 21 days, $70 if pay with 42 days or $105 any time after the 42 day period. At least the city of Vancouver allow for fallibility and have some respect for their inhabitants.

This was the final straw. I have decided that even though Sydney is my birth place and I believe the most beautiful city in the world, it is just not worth it. Every time I go out I can’t relax. There seems to be a speed/red light cameras, tolls, parking costs, parking police, cover charges, over charges, hidden charges, taxes and fines. You are in a constant state of worry and you haven’t even done anything wrong. I feel like a character in a George Orwell novel.

You can’t escape the ridiculous cost of living even something as simple as going to the beach ends up hurting. Just when I thought I couldn’t get screwed over anymore, I went to Balmoral beach.

SLAP!

For two hours it costs $26 dollars to park and  that was on a Sunday! I used to love Sydney because if I wanted a cheap, fun, active day I would go to the beach and enjoy the unique blend of the urban and natural environment.

But not now.

The reason given by the Mosman council for the high parking prices was to discourage non locals from swimming at the beach. Well I live in Lane Cove and that is the closest beach for me.

But instead of enjoying the natural beauty of Sydney I will end up paying the $5 entry to The Lane Cove Aquatic Center. Here I will enjoy concrete walls and swimming around in fecal matter, urine and if I am lucky some semen. Once again my birth place has made it financially impossible to enjoy what it has to offer.

Still angry from my previous Saturday I received a call from friends that were visiting Melbourne. I wanted to show them how stunning Sydney was so we decided to go to Opera Bar. We arrive and the view is amazing, the sun in shining and I settle into a Schmiddy. I resist my urge to rant on past topics and choose to silently lament the ‘death of the Schooner’.

My round comes and I order 4 more beers.

‘That’s $38 thanks’

I pull out $40 bucks and pay. I put my hand out for the change, the waiter avoids my hand and slides it across on a plate. I look at the $2 sitting on the ‘guilt plate’. I feel like picking it up and throwing it in Sydney Harbour. Fuck you very much.

In disbelief I tell everyone it’s $9.50 for a Schmiddy. We had spent $80 on eight beers.

‘How the hell can people afford this’? I ask.

My friend Tony replies,

‘we can’t’.

Then came story after story, about how people in Sydney were living in constant credit card debt. It became apparent that if I wanted to enjoy Sydney in any capacity, even simply going to the beach, I would have to live on borrowed money. Or I could take the alternative; stay at home and live debt free.

A little broken and upset I went to get the car from the Wilson Car Park. I paid $36 for 2 hours which seemed more than fair (insert sarcastic tone) and we drove home.

It seemed like a better option to drink at home. $80 for two rounds or a case of beer for $50. Fifty dollars seems ridiculous for a case but it is all relative. But that is what you end up doing in Sydney you start to excuse the high price of some goods and services because at the end of the day, at least it’s not the highest.

But as we replaced the beautiful Sydney Harbour View for the shocking ‘peach coloured’ walls of my living room, I couldn’t help but laugh. Out of the $50 dollars it cost for the case of the beer, the government tax is $19. Over a 1/3 of the case is tax. So even in my own living room I can’t escape the band of thieves. No matter how you choose to enjoy life and create experiences in Sydney and for that matter Australia there will always be some one ready to charge you for the privilege.

But as I slid into inebriation a familiar song kept playing in my head as I thought of Sydney and my Australia.

“Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn’t cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!”

“Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve ‘em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin’ up their knick-knacks when they can’t see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody’s bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won’t I bleed ‘em in the end!”

 ’ The Biggest Knob in Rugby League Competition 2013′

Due to a massive influx of complete knobs into the NRL over the past few years I have decided to create a season long competition. A ‘fantasy knob league’, if you will.

Points will be allocated for the following offenses committed by any player during the season.

1.  Wearing a flat brim baseball/NFL caps (with the official sticker still in place):

 5 points

2.  Wearing a flat brim baseball/NFL cap backwards:

  5 points

Quade Cooper (QC) and Sonny Bill Williams (SBW)

3.  Pictured Publicly with Anthony Mundine:

20 points

I see a number of offences being committed here. Pictured: Mundine, Cooper, Williams

4.  Shaving a message into one’s hair (charity reasons exempt penalty):

20 points

A picture of a house. Pictured Carl Webb

5.  Social media offences (inappropriate twitter posts, knob posts):

25 points

Ferguson sent this tweet after reports that he spat on people at foreshore festival in Canberra. Refer to picture below

6.  Tattoos one sleeve: (Cultural Tattoo’s Exempt)

25 points

7.  Tattoos two sleeves  (Cultural Tattoo’s Exempt)

50 points

Way more cultured than ‘green sleeves’ . Pictured Todd Carney

8.  Tattoos (own surname):

 25 Points

Just in case he forgets. Pictured Mitchell Pearce

9.  Tattoos (spelling mistakes):

100 points

Justify your spelling.
Existance? Pictured Jarrod Sammut

10.  Tattoos (stupidity):

50 points

There are no words. Pictured Josh Dugan

11.  Selfies (pictures of oneself in the mirror):

50 points

There are four knobs in these photos but you can only see two. Pictured Todd Carney and Daniel Vidot

12.   Double Selfies (double mirror photo):

100 points (amazing knob behaviour)

Found this photo titled ‘G-thang’. I wonder what the G stands for? Pictured Blake Ferguson and Josh Dugan

13.   Threatening to swap codes during the season (AFL, RUGBY)

100 points

Israel trying figure out how to spell, ‘AFL’. Pictured Israel Folau

14.   Speaking about one’s self in the third person during interviews:

100 points

Jarred Hayne says:
Jarred Hayne is looking sharp

15.  Players Pictured with QC and SBW (aka the knob trifecta):

150 points

The reaction after being asked who the biggest dickhead is. It seems they are both right. Pictures Quade Cooper and Sonny Bill Williams

16.  Club Fines of any kind (eg. Late for training, curfew breeches, drinking breaches):

100 points

Are those beers from Jason Taylor? If you drink them you may get ‘pissed’ but you wont get drunk. Pictured Michael Jennings

17.  Public Urination:

50 points

Well Terenece we ‘saw you, saw you’. The boys literally pissing their career’s up the wall. Pictured  Terence Seu Seu and Anthony Watmough

18.  Public defecation (inside premises):

250 points

I think Nate was hard done by. Who hasn’t hung a shit in the corridor of a hotel? He who hasn’t, let him cast the first nugget. Pictured Nate Myles

Clearly a rookie error. Pictured Sam Bunton and Anthony Gelling

19.  Public defecation (external to premises):

300 points

Smooooth Defecator Smoooooooth Defecator.
The Original Knob

20.  Public Violence (police charge):

150 points

I just spat to clear my throat and it landed on a police officer. Just bad luck. Pictured Jorge Taufua

21.  Accused Spousal Abuse (pregnant):

400 point

I hit two birds with one stone. Pictured Robert Lui

22.  Accused of Spousal Abuse (no pregnancy)

350 points

I just thought she was in danger of going over the dead ball line so I slapped her back into the field of play. Pictured Greg Inglis

23.  Charged with Drink Driving:

150 points

The reason I was drink driving for the fourth time was because I was on my way to Robert Lui’s place to show him how to properly use the phone book. Paulini eventually got it. Wes Naiqama

24.  Testing positive to recreational drugs:

300 points

Ummmmmm I am ecstatic to be back. Pictured Reni Maitua

25.  Testing Positive to Performance Enhancing drugs:

500 Points

I tried to prove I wasn’t using performance enhancing drugs by showing tapes of my performances during the season.

26.  Court Appearances :

400 Points

It was going well until I was fingered in court.
‘it was him your honour’.
The whole thing stinks . Pictured  John Hopaote

27.  Miscellaneous (previously uncategorized knob style offence):

200 points

This was tough to swallow. But at least Joel was responsible for the introduction of bestiality laws  to Canberra (true story). That was more political influence than Mal Meninga ever had. Pictured Joel Monaghan

The player that accumulates the most points by the end of the regular season with be appointed ‘The Biggest Knob in Rugby League’.

* A player must complete  the season to be eligible to receive the award. If a player is suspended indefinitely or fired from the club they are disqualified from the competition.

Please post on The Rant Nation Facebook page or this blog, the player you think that will take out this years title.

Based off previous offences we have some short priced favourites. I have provided a short list of the NRL’s mostly likely winners to help you make your decision.

The Contenders for the 2013 Award

Sonny Bill Williams

Josh Dugan

Blake Ferguson

Reni Matua (outsider chance)

Willy Mason (outside chance)

Mitchell Pearce

Jarred Hayne

Chris Sandow

Todd Carney

Greg Inglis

Isaac Luke

Anthony Watmough

Nate Myles

Jake Friend

Wes Naqaima

Bronx Goodwin

Daniel Vidot

Greg Bird

Robert Lui

The rubbish that flows freely from Anthony Mundine’s mouth will ensure he goes down as one the most disliked figures in Australia’s sporting history. He claims that, ‘people just wanna hate’. Well that’s right ‘choc’, people generally will hate if you offend them and carry on like a dickhead. But for all his ramblings what really annoys me about Anthony Mundine is that he has attempted to copy the life and often the script of Mohammed Ali. Whenever Mundine is in the media he attempts to deliver an ‘Ali script’ in which he manages to bumble and fumble his words, making absolutely no sense and then finishes his awful monologue with an ‘ I am the best baby’. It is so bad to watch you almost want to scream ‘cut’, call Will Smith in and get him to deliver the lines.

I would never begrudge anyone for using Muhammad Ali as their role model but there is a difference between admiring a man’s qualities or just completely trying to rip him off. I think as soon as Mundine switched to boxing he must have watched every Ali documentary (especially ‘Thrilla in Manila’) and decided this is the man I want to play for the rest of my life. The only problem is that Ali grew up in a completely different era. Ali stood for what he believed in regardless of public opinion. He famously threw his Olympic medal in the Ohio river after he and friend were refused service at a white only establishment. He was also conscientious objector and refused to be drafted into the Vietnam War. In such a turbulent era it would have taken an amazing amount of fortitude to remain true to your beliefs and stand by your convictions. Ali was stripped of his World titles, his boxing license suspended and sentenced to  three years jail for evasion.Over the years Ali’s legend has grown and the significance of his actions have inspired many generations. This combined with his boxing prowess has seen him referred to as the greatest sporting figure to have ever lived.

For all of Ali’s greatness he was not perfect. Because of his out spoken nature he occasionally made errors of judgement and said regrettable things. To Ali’s credit he redefined or retracted a lot of these statements and learned from them. Although there were some people that  never forgave Ali, namely Joe Frasier. When I heard Mundine refer to Daniel Geale and other sporting legends as Uncle Tom’s I couldn’t help but think of the documentary ‘Thrilla in Manila’. Ali would repeatedly call Joe Frasier an Uncle Tom and question the loyalty to his race because of his business dealing with white people.

* (The phrase “Uncle Tom” has also become an epithet for a person who is slavish and excessively subservient to perceived authority figures, particularly a black person who behaves in a subservient manner to white people; or any person perceived to be a participant in the oppression of their own group)

Ali publicly ridiculed another Black man to elevate his own status and in turn made a lifelong enemy of Frasier. Ali tried many times to apologise but the damage was done and Frasier would never accept any of his advances. For a black man to call another black man an Uncle Tom is deeply offensive. I would bet my life that Anthony Mundine adopted the phrase from this movie.

Footage: Mundine calls Geale an Uncle Tom

Anthony mustn’t have received the memo that this is not 1960’s America.

His aggressive style and racist remarks only set out to separate and distance people. His statements to Daniel Geale seem to insinuate that unless you are first generation Aboriginal then you aren’t aboriginal.

This was Anthony Mundine’s response  after Daniel Geale stated that his indigenous ties originated in Tasmania.

“I thought they wiped all the Aborigines from Tasmania out,”

He questions anybody’s Aboriginality if they aren’t as dark as him or if they don’t do as much work as he does in the community. He also questioned Geale’s Aboriginality because of the colour of his wife’s skin.

“He’s got a white woman, he’s got white kids. I keep it real, all day every day.”

This is the problem, Anthony decides whether you are aboriginal or not and determines what side of his fence that you sit on.

The issue is that Anthony Mundine is not blessed with being as articulate as Ali. Ali could make a controversial statement and in the next sentence make the target of his tirade giggle while continuing his social commentary. Mundine comes across as a babbling fool and more recently his ignorance has come to the fore. Blaming the ‘system’ for his failure to represent Australia in Rugby League. Blaming the white administrators and labeling the Aboriginal administrators as ‘Uncle Toms’. He dismisses anybody and their Aboriginal heritage if it at all threatens him or his recounting of historical events. He claims he wasn’t selected to play for Australia because he was Aboriginal, but what about Dale Shearer, Laurie Daley, Steve Renouf, Chicka Ferguson, and Gordon Tallis. These are just a couple of indigenous players that represented Australia around the time that Mundine played. According to Mundine they are either not Aboriginal enough or they are Uncle Tom’s. Basically in one statement he managed to offend people of his culture and the greater community to justify his failures.

Mundine only cares about himself.

If he cared about the plight of his people he wouldn’t set about offending them. He also wouldn’t set about trying to belittle his own people and question their Aboriginality just to sell a few more tickets

Who is the ‘Uncle Tom’ now?

The fact is the life expectancy of an indigenous male is 11.5 years lower than a non-indigenous male and for a female aboriginal is 9.5 years lower than a non-aboriginal female. Third world living conditions, substance abuse and health issues  plague the aboriginal people and should be voiced. But Anthony, I hear more about you or who you don’t consider to be aboriginal than I do about your people’s plight.

Mundine’s tactics are archaic and are from a by-gone era. These days people will listen if you come forward with educated measured statements and, more importantly,come with solutions. Of recent times he has made statements that the flag and the national anthem reflect a time of British oppression. Both of which I agree with. I don’t relate to the Union Jack and the imperialistic origins of the National Anthem and I am WHITE. My ancestors are Irish and I don’t identify with the union jack. I have as much reason to despise it as the as the aboriginal people. As a matter of fact there a lot of migrants that have come to Australia that don’t identify with the union jack. This is modern day Australia where most of us have come from somewhere else. The aggressive racially based attacks are extremely unproductive and offensive to everyone. This is everyone’s Australia.

He claims that he wants everyone to come together and be peaceful. Then why does he keep trying to identify everyone who isn’t Aboriginal as the enemy? In my family, our partners are from the Philippines, Canada, South Africa, New Zealand and Vietnam. If I was Aboriginal, Mundine would question our Aboriginality and our childrens’ because of the company we keep. But the fact of the matter is that this is modern day Australia. Mixed race couples are everywhere. So when Mundine addresses the ‘white’ man, who is he exactly referring to? The Greek and Italian immigrant of the 50-60’s, the Chinese immigrants of the last 30 years or is it just the people of this First Fleet?

The problem is Anthony wants to be the greatest. This is the most important thing in Mundine’s life. This is why he has become blinded with the ‘Ali Syndrome’. He has tried to desperately adopt Ali’s ethos and apply it in today’s world. He stood in front of Australia and displayed ignorance that is no longer tolerated in our society from any race of people.

In the recent fight against Daniel Geale, Mundine showed the world the kind of person he is. A self-centered man who cares more about his reputation than the greater good. Mundine was beaten fairly and could have gone out gracefully but like a spoiled child he left the ring and claimed he was robbed. Once again it was the system’s fault. Is this is the kind of example he wants to set for young aboriginal children? Is this how he wants to lead his people? Post fight he could have redeemed himself for all his past wrongs and stood proudly alongside Daniel Geale and celebrated their Aboriginal heritage in a unified gesture. But this wasn’t to be.

Instead he left the ring an ignorant loser and unfortunately this is how he will be remembered. People say that he behaves the way he does to get bums on seats or to make more money. This may well true be, but at what cost?  Anthony Mundine squandered the biggest opportunity he has ever been given. He got into a fight with 20 million people instead of turning them into believers. All in an attempt to be ‘The Greatest’.

Mundine proved there will only ever be one Ali and in proving that, he ultimately lost the battle with himself.

I will leave you with a few clips  that I found interesting. Where have we heard this before?

A treat it was not.

As a matter of fact it was a disgrace. I first noticed something was wrong when I picked up the ice cream. It seemed to be significantly lighter and a lot smaller than I remember. Unfazed I unwrapped the paddle pop to find an off colour, pale brown micro sized version of a paddle pop. It looked kind of like chocolate so I checked the wrapper just to confirm and to my surprise it was. With little confidence I gave it a taste test.

Icy, flavourless and disappointing. The only thing that resembled a paddle pop was the stick.

I haven’t seen the Paddle Pop lion for a while but based off the standard of his ice cream you might see him cleaning windshields at a set of traffic lights trying to collect money to fix his mangy outfit. Poor old Paddle Pop Lion must be doing it tough if he is willing to push such a poor, inferior product our way.

Well no! After doing a little research I have found it’s Streets Ice Cream’s biggest volume item with $70 million annual turnover.

Shame on you paddle pop Lion. How can you look little children in the eye while you shamelessly promote such a second rate product? Aussie kids believing your lies as you sun yourself under a tree at the Skase residence in Majorca. I just had Humphrey on the phone, he didn’t say much but I knew he was bitterly disappointed.

I read on further to find out the real reason why the standard of paddle pops had dropped off.

Since 2010 they have been made in China. Basically we are eating a Chinese rip off that is being rebadged as the real thing. Not only that, it is 15% smaller.

Streets claim that reducing it by 15% makes the ice creams healthier. Of course it does there is less of it. I have a suggestion for you Streets, reduce the ice cream by 80% and it will be even healthier. Actually just pop a flavoured stick in a wrapper and you may solve Australia’s obesity problem.

What a load of bullshit. To even release this statement shows how little respect that Streets has for its consumer. Edwin ‘Ted’ Street would be turning in his grave if he knew what had become of the paddle pop.

But this fraud isn’t the only one being perpetrated on the Australian public.

There is a long list of casualties and they are growing;

The Big Mac should now just be called a ‘Mac’ or am I missing the irony in the name. Like when a big man is nick named tiny. Maybe McDonalds is having a laugh by calling it a Big Mac, possibly, but Australia is missing the Joke.

It seems fitting that they have a thief in their ranks. Obviously The Hamburgular has been picking the pockets of the Australian consumer for years. Well at least that distracts us from the fact that Ronald is almost certainly a serial killer.

Next we have The Killer Python;

They should rename this ‘the magic python’ because it has magically reduced size over the years and the price has tripled. Not even David Copperfield could conjure up such a trick.

The beer market has managed to do the same. The bottles went from 370ml to a boutique 330ml. I actually had someone explain to me that 330ml were the boutique beers and the bogan beers were 370ml. Well give me a flanny, some Winnie blues and a missus called Shazza because I would rather drink a bogan beer than swallow this bullshit marketing ploy that seems to have duped the consumer. And since when was Hahn super dry a boutique beer?

What idiot would pay more for a beer that provides you less volume?

Yours truly of course. Ladies and gentlemen I have two words for you.

The Schmiddy.

I hate the Schmiddy more than I hate Gangnam style.

NSW is the only state to perpetrate such a fraud.

A schooner was 425ml and the Schmiddy is 350ml and they manage to charge the same if not more for it. The worst thing is the consumer has swallowed it, literally.

‘Oh a schmiddy, oh it’s smaller, oh it costs more, oh well I am in a cool club I might be seen here, so I should pay double.

Here is an explanation from one halfwit (sorry beer consultant) about how the Schmiddy came into effect.

‘City bars are moving away from the traditional middy and schooner glass sizes for more boutique beer sizes. Beer is becoming a drink to be appreciated, rather than just guzzled,’ beer appreciation consultant Kirrily Waldhorn said.

Oh Kirrily Waldhorn I would love to punch you in the face. If I wanted to appreciate a beer I would like to have more of it. By cutting out 75ml and charging me more doesn’t help me appreciate the beer, it actually limits the amount of beer that I can appreciate. There was nothing wrong with the middy and the schooner. If you wanted to have a small beer (sorry an appreciation beer) you had a middy and a big persons beer was a schooner. The only plausible reason the schmiddy was introduced was to screw the consumer. Trying to sell me on the fact that being charged more for less beer is a form of appreciation is absolute tripe. And there is that word again ‘Boutique’. I’m almost as afraid of that word as I am ‘Tapas’.

Now Tapas there is another fraud.

Here is where they serve you up bite size portions of amazingly tasty food over the course of the night. Quite often there isn’t enough to go around and if you are in a conversation at the time the food is served there is a real chance that you might miss out on the few pieces they have placed on the table. But then you all look at the last piece of food sitting in the bowl because no one wants to be the person that eats the last bit of food. While secretly you all want to eat the last piece you kindly keep offering it to others until someone cracks and then you all sit in judgment of ‘fat guts’ that just ate the last piece.

Here is an idea. Put each serving on an individual plate and that way we all get to eat barely nothing, fairly. It is a novel idea, albeit outrageous.

But the reason this isn’t done is because if they served out the portions to everyone individually it would be blatantly obvious how little food you actually get served.

So they maintain their fraud by serving it in one bowl and letting the peasants fight for the scraps.

Then we come to the bill. As I finish my 330ml boutique Cerveza I politely und0 my pants, bend over and wait. Because after all it’s tapas you should expect to pay double and get half. But as I try to pay we are politely told by the waiter that we can’t split the bill. After a night of splitting the food the irony of his statement was not lost on me.

I am blinded by the red mist at the moment but what I think I am trying to say is, when did it become acceptable to reduce portion size or quality and charge more for the product. Now I am not that naive to believe that this practice hasn’t existed for a long time but it seems to be infiltrating all aspects of society. Quality and Value for money has been replaced with low grade inferior products. Back in the day you shopped at Franklins if you didn’t mind sacrificing quality but now you can’t escape it regardless of where you shop.

Of recent time VB tried to change the recipe of their beer. The consumer responded fiercely and Carlton United was forced to change back to the original VB recipe. Now we should all take a lesson from this merry band of Bogans. They didn’t quietly accept the changes that had been made. They all rallied and boycotted the VB brand until they achieved a result. If we all had boycotted the introduction of the Schmiddy or the substandard paddle pop we may have achieved a similar result. I respect the VB drinkers of the world because they get to enjoy their 375ml beer in quiet contentment as they watch the V8 supers roll around the track at Bathurst.

In this day and age where mortgages are through the roof and living in Sydney on one wage is barely possible, I would just like to come home to a full beer, a nice ice cream and not be reminded about how shafted we get in this country.

Some notable products that have become less than their best:

Golden Rough, Scotch Finger Biscuit, Milk Arrowroot, Milk coffees, Killer Pythons, Big Mac, Tonka Trucks, Bubble O Bills, Ginger Nut .

Please add to the list if you can think of more.

Rant on,

Johnny

PS: I wonder what would happen if Mr. Street had a street named after him.

See full story: http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/rugby-gold/outgoing-australia-rugby-union-chief-executive-john-oneill-issues-a-stern-warning/story-fn8tk0tu-1226494755216

‘No, I think that side will dry first!’

‘Well, you are mistaken my friend, this wall will dry first because it’s on a northerly aspect and it has been heated by the sun all day’.

Our debate was interrupted by a friend who had returned from the bar with a fresh round of beers.

‘What are you guys talking about?’

‘We are discussing which wall the paint will dry on first.’

‘But what about the game?’, he replied.

Oh, that’s right.

I looked up in time to see Dan Carter move in to kick a goal 55 meters out from the Australian goal line. The most prolific try scoring team in rugby is opting to take a shot at goal from within their own half. What a disgrace! I look at my friend, tell him it’s 9-3, and get back to my paint drying discussion. As my friend begins to argue the different drying times of enamel and acrylic paint, my mind shifts back to rugby and its decline as a  modern day spectacle.  It has become the most boring of all the football codes and unless amendments are made to the games structure it will further slide into oblivion.

Rugby is played in private schools, colleges and universities. When it was an amateur game it was the alumni of these institutions that supported and fostered the game. This allowed the game to grow and flourish internationally and secure a ‘world game’ reputation. Due to its ties to educational institutions, rugby harbors many educated and influential people among its ranks, who provide an excellent network for budding professionals.  This firm history and white collar pedigree has fostered an elitist mentality among rugby supporters and made them impervious to any criticism of the game. It is this attitude, the game’s firm roots in the Northern Hemisphere, the ARU’s  inability to evolve from its amateur status and the fear of mimicking rugby league that make it resistant to change. I believe these, in addition to the following reasons, are the main causes of rugby’s  decline.

 The beginning of the end:

Around 2004 is when I started to notice the decline of rugby union. Many will argue that rugby was alive and well all these years ago, but I had noticed that a lot of negative play was predominating tight contests such as test matches or super 12 matches (NSW vs Queensland). There was also an emergence of several place kickers that could kick goals from all over the field, even from inside their own half. I would constantly point out to my rugby union friends that the game was stifling and, compared to rugby league, it was a boring.  They would staunchly stand by their code. The most common response I would receive is, ‘Well, don’t watch the game’. Telling me to not watch the game is sound advice, but  reeks of ignorance and arrogance. To their credit, their advice is now being heeded and people are no longer watching Rugby and are opting for other sports to watch. It is this refusal to acknowledge the game’s flaws and their blind support of this ailing sport that has adversely affected rugby. Another common statement is that rugby union test matches are better than anything league could produce. That was once the case, but is no longer. About 5 years ago I timed the amount of actual playing time in a rugby union test match (Aust vs Eng). Over 80 minutes of rugby and we only saw the ball in play for 28 minutes. I did the same for league and the ball was in play for 72minutes. And the rugby administrators wonder why rugby is struggling.  Over the years most of my  friends have all stopped watching rugby. Even they had to concede the game is painful to watch. The amount of goals kicked, lack of tries and huge amounts of stoppage time encourages the watcher to switch channels. The problem isn’t that rugby  has declined, it is that the other football codes have evolved and in this day and age of pay television, another, better option is one button press away.

 The immovable object:

World rugby is controlled by the IRB, located in Ireland. The IRB is an organization that is renowned for holding onto  the past and resisting change. If the IRB were a car company, they would still be manufacturing FJ Holdens, because after all, why change. In fairness, in 2008 they introduced the Stellenbosch rules after much discourse. The problem with these rules is they were like putting a new set of tyres on the FJ Holden. They were an improvement, but they didn’t quite fix the problem. The Stellenbosch was a stop-gap solution that was meant to appease both styles of Rugby, the old school in the Northern Hemisphere and the new school in the Southern Hemisphere. There was much resistance from the Northern Hemisphere where contests are based on field position and not scoring tries. They play a conservative game focused around the forward pack and rely on goal kicking to score points.  The Southern Hemisphere play a more attacking brand of football where the forwards are more mobile and the backs look to score points from tries. The rules set to change the game but they weren’t drastic enough to have an influence on how the game is played. In contests between the North and South, the game was still stifled. The game still rewarded negative, safe play and  teams that adopted an attacking approach would be at a greater risk  of losing. This meant that when a game had a lot of pressure associated with it, like a test match, the contest would be played conservatively even if both sides had strong attacking prowess. This is my point. The crowd comes to see the world’s best attacking sides play and all you see is goal kicking or worse, drop kicking.

The Stellenbosch changes were a start and I applaud the IRB for making these first steps, but they needed to be followed by further changes. A furthering of the rugby evolution. This didn’t quite happen and the game stagnated once again.

Evolve or Die:

In Australia Rugby has to share centre stage with three other football codes, Rugby League, AFL and Soccer. Rugby league and AFL are predominantly played in Australia and this is where the governing bodies are located. This means both codes can be closely scrutinized and if a change needs to be made it can be implemented with minimal red tape. With every change to the games rules, there is always criticism from former players or administrators stating that the game is changing for the worse. Over recent years, a common gripe is that AFL and Rugby League is getting quicker and this is resulting in the bigger man  becoming obsolete in both codes. This may be a legitimate claim, but in all football codes it is about the spectacle, the fans and the quality of the game. The evolution of the game is determined by the fan base. The fans increasingly want fast, quick, dynamic action. Rugby league and AFL realize that they must listen to the fans because it is a limited, tightly contested market in Australia. Constant monitoring of the codes ensures that the fans get what they want.

Change is never easy, but it is necessary.

Negative rugby with no regard for the fans:

Rugby union shows little to no respect for their fans. Many times over the years I have been sitting at a Brumbies match and they will show some impetus in attack only to receive a penalty and have a shot for goal. To not go for the try may make tactical sense, but it rewards the attacking team for taking the safer option. A common occurrence that results from this is the home team booing and jeering their own side. Are the administrators not watching this happen? HOME TEAMS BOOING THEIR OWN. I have seen this happen a number of times over the years in NSW, ACT and Queensland. Even if a team is down 20-3 before halftime, they will opt for the shot at goal much to the dismay of the crowd. I have actually seen Australia taking goal kicks against the Barbarians side instead of trying to score tries. WHAT??? Wasn’t this designed as an exhibition match? It is a disgrace. An exhibition by definition is ‘a display or demonstration of skill’. I might have to send this definition to the IRB and the ARU.

The purists will tell you that rugby is not about scoring tries, but about field position.

I disagree, that is what rugby used to be about.

The modern day crowd wants to see tries. I don’t want to watch Rugby to see one man constantly kick for three points. If I wanted to see a kicking display, I would watch soccer. Nine times out of ten the kick for goal will be the first option in rugby union, which is anywhere from 60 meters out. So this means unless you start your attack from within you own half and by some miracle not receive a penalty, you may, if you are lucky, see a try scored. The rare occasion a try is the preferred option is the last 5 minutes of a match when a team is losing by a large margin. Only then  will they start to throw the ball around in a desperate attempt to score quick tries. This is the only time that real attacking rugby is played: when the result is almost a forgone conclusion.

In modern day rugby, you are rewarded for negative play because of the point scoring system. Why go for a 5 point try when you can score a guaranteed 3 points. If you are just inside you own half why not have a shot for goal? You may be rewarded with points and you haven’t even made it into the oppositions half. How many other sports operate like this? Not many.

I don’t blame teams for playing safe, because that is how you win rugby games but it is boring. The crowd disengages. Why invest emotion in the game when you know your team won’t sustain attack especially if they are given an opportunity to score 3 points. How many games have you seen where the team that scores the most tries has lost? It is common occurrence in rugby but almost never happens in rugby league. 

When a Rugby team is chasing the win, they tend to play smart or safe. They believe that getting the ‘win’ is what counts. To some fans, maybe. But what most want is a display of skill. I would rather see my team go down fighting than playing it safe. I want to be entertained.  If I switch channels to rugby league then I will see a team constantly attack an opposition goal line. Even after a penalty is given, they will still continue pressuring the goal line in an attempt to score a try. This is usually met with a cheer and from this suspense begins to build. If the attacking team scores the try, the crowd is rewarded for sustained pressure, but if the team is denied a try, the defense crowd rallies with cheers of support for a job well done. That’s entertainment.

Rugby needs to be dynamic in their rule changes, they need to start respecting the fans.

For example, the following is how rugby league deals with a problem of negative tactics:.

This year,  rugby league players began to kick the ball dead on purpose. This meant that the restart would be on the 20m line and the defense could set a solid defensive line. It effectively negated the kick return, which shut down the likes of Inlgis, Slater and Barba. This was a tactically smart play but it is negative and affects the flow of the game. Therefore, rugby league set about changing the rule so that if this option is taken the negative play isn’t rewarded.  The quick restart rule was immediately put in place and in the off-season, a restart from the 30m line will be proposed.

My point is that the administration realized that this kind of play was detrimental to the spectacle of the game. They know the fans come to see players with the ball in their hand, especially the likes of Slater, Inlgis and Barba.

A revolution:

I would love to have a Kerry Packer in my back pocket  because I would approach him and propose we introduce a new form of rugby in order to rescue the frustrated fans. Take on the IRB and lead a Rugby Revolution.

The following is a set of rules I would implement that would revolutionize Australian rugby;

The Point Scoring System

 Drop Goal 1 point

I believe drop goals and penalties should only be used to break a dead lock. Especially drop goals.

Do you know they still have drop goals in the NFL? How often do you see them use it? Never. You know why? Because it is boring and there are better ways to score points.

Drop goals are a stain on the game.

I hate watching games when you see a team attacking and after 4 phases, they take the attitude that they can’t score so they have a drop goal attempt. It is a game killer.

 Penalty Goal 2 points

When I mention the field goal being worth two points the common response is,

‘This means people will infringe more’.

Yes, they will. But if you utilize a 5 minute sin bin (another new change) for constant infringements then all-of-a-sudden the infringing stops. Having 14 versus 15 players  creates an increased advantage and would discourage frequent infringements.

With this rule change I doubt we would see kicks from over half way, shots for goal when you are down 20-3 or even shots for goal as an opening score. If you have to kick 4 goals to better one try ,I guarantee that teams will opt for a try than going for a goal. There will be no more jeering from the home crowd under my rule.

 Try 8 Point (6 points for a try and 2 for the goal kick)

This means that a try would be worth 4 penalty goals and 8 field goals. I believe that this suitably rewards the teams attempting to score a try than opting for a penalty goal. Attacking Rugby is rewarded.

Drop 2 players from each team

I propose the flankers.  This is my most controversial proposal.

This would make the teams 13 a side. Almost immediately I can hear the purists screaming that this is too close to rugby league. Who cares that it is the same number of people, the games are vastly different. Why let rugby league predominate our decision-making, especially if it is for the betterment of the game.

In the modern day game, all players spread out in defense and commit little to the ruck. It is almost impossible to break the line. With no attacking room and 15 men on the field, the game is stifled.

If you were to drop the flankers this frees up more room up and also gives the fly half more time with the ball because there is no threat from the open side flanker.

The other argument against this idea is that players will be doing more running and will become smaller to adjust to the quickness of the game.

This won’t happen.

Because two men have been removed, the scrum will be lighter.  This will mean that the remaining players in the scrum will have to maintain their size in order to control the it. If they sacrifice size, they  risk losing the scrum in every instance. The lineout will always need tall men so the height requirements still remain in order to win the line out contest.

Because teams will need to keep bulky forwards to win the set piece, this will also allow more room for the backs. At the moment with 15 men the bulky forwards don’t need to cover as much distance to defend and can therefore preserve their energy. With my idea, they need to cover more ground. This means they may grow tired and slow and therefore give the backs more room to move.

Rugby league used to have a 0 meter rule defensive line rule which was then changed to the 5 meter rule and currently sits at 10 meters. This was designed to create more room for the players. It worked and resulted in exciting attacking play.

Rugby needs to give the players more room. The best way to do this is to remove players. It is very simple.

If you combine the change to the point scoring system and the removal of 2 men from the field, you will see some extremely attacking rugby and importantly more positive ‘on field’ decision-making. The reward for scoring tries will encourage an attacking mind set and reduce the amount of penalty goals and drop goals that are blight on the game. Essentially, the game will finally reward the attacking team.

I would love to watch or play in a game of rugby with these proposed changes. It would be exciting, interesting and fun.

A return to the top:

Rugby has the potential to be the number one football code in Australia. The ARU just needs to implement drastic changes to modernize the current game. If this means splintering from the IRB then this may have to happen. Will leaving the IRB be the end of rugby union in Australia? Unlikely.  Regardless, rugby is dying in Australia and is in dire need of a revolution.

On this note I am packing up my desk, taking my favourite gold fish from the tank and walking out on Rugby. Who is coming with me?

I hear crickets…………….

Well it didn’t work for Jerry MaGuire either.

Rant on,

Johnny